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Tanto Minchiata's avatar

What follows is some useless advice, because most advice is useless. It's worth exactly what you paid for it:

Yes everything is easy in the abstract. Loving everybody sounds good, but means nothing. Humanity is great in the abstract, it's human beings who are problematic. Hell is other people according to an old depressed French man. It's more difficult to love somebody with imperfections and human frailty. You can't love everybody, but try to hate as few people as you can. Not necessarily because they don't deserve it, but because it will make you unhappy.

What gives life meaning may vary somewhat from person to person. I find I'm happiest when I do something useful for somebody else. If fulfills my sense of purpose. I don't think that's particularly unique. I don't find personally that there are entirely satisfactory solutions to most of life's problems. There are a series of challenges and dilemmas to be confronted and dealt with as best we can. When you successfully navigate a rough patch, that feels good. Sometimes it's enough to be standing after the storm. . But I think there are small answers that can be functional and enriching. It usually means getting back to basics. Having a lot of stuff past a certain point won't make you that happy. Everything past that point is of marginal utility. Billionaires aren't particularly contented people. They never have enough. Learn to understand what enough is for you. You can't take it with you and you are leaving. Try and find a few people you like and a few people you love and hang on to them. Easier said than done. Learn to forgive yourself and then you can forgive others. Easier said than done. Try to make your way forward without shoving other people out of the way. Stand up for yourself, but don't beat other people down. Easier said than done. Be persistent and concerned about quality - quality of work, quality of life, quality of relationships. Don't invest in one way relationships. It's a bad idea. On the other hand, don't get frustrated and toss things aside easily. There is satisfaction in taking care of people and other things. You have to put up with a certain amount of crap, but not more. You decide what your tolerance is. If it's making you miserable, it's too much crap. Evade toxic people. Evade emotional vampires and narcissists. Evade boredom. It's up to you to make your life interesting. If you have extra - extra money, extra love, extra time or skills, give it to somebody who needs it. It can be somebody you already know. It can be a new person or cause. You will get more back than you put into it often.

As far as strangers and "victims", some people are going to have a bad time of it and you aren't going to save them. A lot of these people don't want to be saved. If they wanted to be saved, they'd save themselves. Be kind, be generous, but don't be stupid. You can't take care of other people until you take care of yourself. Don't do stuff for extrinsic reasons, for acclaim or social acceptance. Do stuff that means something to you.

Do difficult things. Struggle is growth. Once you learn how to struggle, it's easier to get through the struggle to the other side regardless of the struggle. Emulate people who have successfully surmounted difficulty. Courage and persistence will go a long way as you build your skill set.

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Gym+Fritz's avatar

Good post.

I think, as a society, we are failing to realize, much less come to grips with, what is happening with regard to the religious void developing in the West. The crazy times* are here because many of us have turned our backs on religion, which to most of us was the primary source of “right & wrong”.

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