I prefer beta males, probably because I'm a beta female (if B+) who grew up in the shadow of a ravishingly beautiful mother who didn't have to work at it. It made that path seem hopeless: I later realized I might have gone that way by working at it, but no one showed me how (on the contrary, she was delighted to outshine plainer daughters), and it didn't seem worth the trouble. So I became the looker rather than the looked-at, and am grateful for it. Now in my 70s, I'm fascinated to observe that the old women who WERE beautiful often act with the same high-handed entitlement that their beauty once gave them. For women, beauty IS power.
I especially enjoyed the statistics that 'that men “liked” more than 60 percent of the female profiles they viewed, while women “liked” only 4.5 percent of male profiles.'
On the oeuvre of art, my cupboard is relatively bare, but I did come up with Cyrano, Othello, and whatever Shakespeare sonnet we studied in HS about his lover having "hair like wires".
I suspect that even in societies where women were treated as chattel, a demanding and forthright girl or young woman of intelligence and ability could still earn the respect and admiration of her father, brothers, eventual husband, sons and nephews, brothers in law, etc., such that her influence (direct or indirect) would extend beyond the purely domestic. History suggests this was a relatively rare occurrence in the political realm, but perhaps a less often reported benefit was supplied by women in the social and economic areas involving family and clan business, etc.
Over the last few years I have occasionally observed an older couple in the store or on the street and tried to imagine how they looked in their twenties and thus what the attraction(s) might have been. Even from such anecdotal surveys it is clear many less than actor quality people managed to find each other and prosper together where they might have lagged as non-joined individuals. And sometimes the visages of the couples being observed are closer to the actor roles for horror films than the usual soap opera.
How biased to you have to be to believe Christine Blasey Ford over Justice Kavanaugh; or Anita Hill over Justice Thomas? In one case the shred of a possibility exists while in the other there is no "there" there at all. Political shenanigans like those don't help the truly aggrieved either. I suspect these US cases did make the news overseas, while if there were any corresponding situations in Britain or Europe, I don't recall reading about them.
I also read your MeToo essay and noted you cited the Pinker low violence in modern times and honor killings and Rotherham, so you covered items I might have thought of, too. I has failed to remember FGM, although that is cultural violence with the "best of intentions" within that culture.
It is also disturbing that the ardent feminists don't seem to give any considerations to the large complement of males (as fathers, brothers, husbands, friends, et al. ) that would move very forcefully to provide protection to the women in their lives if they are aware of a threat and in a position to act.
Fantastic piece. I’ve been saying something similar to this for twenty years now. I’ve always thought really good looking people live in a separate reality. Their perceptions skewed by a reality filled with sexual opportunities that most of us couldn’t dream of. Now…I will say that men don’t have to be that good looking for those opportunities to appear. I’ve seen some ugly men get lots of girls. In those cases, other variables begin to play out but the result is the same: they monopolize the women. In my experience, under our sexual market, that’s where this all ends up.
OK You have me. This essay is so brilliant and absorbing that I simply must become a subscriber. After a while, I dare say, I will also be forced to become a paid subscriber should you keep up this promise of thought provoking creativity. :)
F Roger Devlin's Sexual Utopia in Power does a great job laying this out. I get irritated when ppl can't explain the content of a book and just infodump, so I'll give the TLDR version.
Well, we actually know what happened to the two million surplus women left by WWI... they became the first generation of feminists, the ones who had professions, went to medical school and law school, etc. You could argue from the male perspective, that while it is a bit sad & lonely not to have a suitable mate for marriage and children... it is preferable to being DEAD IN A TRENCH.
(A nebbishy character played by Fred Armisen is accused of sexual harassment for speaking to women in the office, while another character played by guest host Tom Brady can behave much worse and they like it.)
How can "calling out sexual harassement" ever be "taken to excess"?
“more disconcerting research findings that men who use sexual coercion have more partners than men who do not.....[and men] ...high on Dark Triad traits are viewed as more attractive by women, are more likely to have consensual sexual partners, and are more likely to engage in sexual coercion.”
If someone is "dark triad" but has an attractive face/body, then it is the face/body that will be considered attractive, not their psychopathy. A psychopath with an ugly face will not be considered attractive.
Great article. I liked how you juxtaposed the two sides of the issue. Normally we only hear the female side. I hope that men in general will wake up soon. If only for the sake of the next generation of young men. Men must adapt to our rapidly changing world. We don't speak out against inequities that our fellow men suffer. The empathy gap for men is perpetrated by women AND men.
I prefer beta males, probably because I'm a beta female (if B+) who grew up in the shadow of a ravishingly beautiful mother who didn't have to work at it. It made that path seem hopeless: I later realized I might have gone that way by working at it, but no one showed me how (on the contrary, she was delighted to outshine plainer daughters), and it didn't seem worth the trouble. So I became the looker rather than the looked-at, and am grateful for it. Now in my 70s, I'm fascinated to observe that the old women who WERE beautiful often act with the same high-handed entitlement that their beauty once gave them. For women, beauty IS power.
Excellent essay. Well done, I loved it, Graham.
I especially enjoyed the statistics that 'that men “liked” more than 60 percent of the female profiles they viewed, while women “liked” only 4.5 percent of male profiles.'
On the oeuvre of art, my cupboard is relatively bare, but I did come up with Cyrano, Othello, and whatever Shakespeare sonnet we studied in HS about his lover having "hair like wires".
I suspect that even in societies where women were treated as chattel, a demanding and forthright girl or young woman of intelligence and ability could still earn the respect and admiration of her father, brothers, eventual husband, sons and nephews, brothers in law, etc., such that her influence (direct or indirect) would extend beyond the purely domestic. History suggests this was a relatively rare occurrence in the political realm, but perhaps a less often reported benefit was supplied by women in the social and economic areas involving family and clan business, etc.
Over the last few years I have occasionally observed an older couple in the store or on the street and tried to imagine how they looked in their twenties and thus what the attraction(s) might have been. Even from such anecdotal surveys it is clear many less than actor quality people managed to find each other and prosper together where they might have lagged as non-joined individuals. And sometimes the visages of the couples being observed are closer to the actor roles for horror films than the usual soap opera.
How biased to you have to be to believe Christine Blasey Ford over Justice Kavanaugh; or Anita Hill over Justice Thomas? In one case the shred of a possibility exists while in the other there is no "there" there at all. Political shenanigans like those don't help the truly aggrieved either. I suspect these US cases did make the news overseas, while if there were any corresponding situations in Britain or Europe, I don't recall reading about them.
I also read your MeToo essay and noted you cited the Pinker low violence in modern times and honor killings and Rotherham, so you covered items I might have thought of, too. I has failed to remember FGM, although that is cultural violence with the "best of intentions" within that culture.
It is also disturbing that the ardent feminists don't seem to give any considerations to the large complement of males (as fathers, brothers, husbands, friends, et al. ) that would move very forcefully to provide protection to the women in their lives if they are aware of a threat and in a position to act.
Fantastic piece. I’ve been saying something similar to this for twenty years now. I’ve always thought really good looking people live in a separate reality. Their perceptions skewed by a reality filled with sexual opportunities that most of us couldn’t dream of. Now…I will say that men don’t have to be that good looking for those opportunities to appear. I’ve seen some ugly men get lots of girls. In those cases, other variables begin to play out but the result is the same: they monopolize the women. In my experience, under our sexual market, that’s where this all ends up.
OK You have me. This essay is so brilliant and absorbing that I simply must become a subscriber. After a while, I dare say, I will also be forced to become a paid subscriber should you keep up this promise of thought provoking creativity. :)
F Roger Devlin's Sexual Utopia in Power does a great job laying this out. I get irritated when ppl can't explain the content of a book and just infodump, so I'll give the TLDR version.
Beta males built civilization and keep it running.
Well, we actually know what happened to the two million surplus women left by WWI... they became the first generation of feminists, the ones who had professions, went to medical school and law school, etc. You could argue from the male perspective, that while it is a bit sad & lonely not to have a suitable mate for marriage and children... it is preferable to being DEAD IN A TRENCH.
Yes, real life is full of a lot of unfair stuff.
This reminds me of a great SNL skit (almost an oxymoron in recent years): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxuUkYiaUc8&t=137s
(A nebbishy character played by Fred Armisen is accused of sexual harassment for speaking to women in the office, while another character played by guest host Tom Brady can behave much worse and they like it.)
How can "calling out sexual harassement" ever be "taken to excess"?
“more disconcerting research findings that men who use sexual coercion have more partners than men who do not.....[and men] ...high on Dark Triad traits are viewed as more attractive by women, are more likely to have consensual sexual partners, and are more likely to engage in sexual coercion.”
If someone is "dark triad" but has an attractive face/body, then it is the face/body that will be considered attractive, not their psychopathy. A psychopath with an ugly face will not be considered attractive.
The ending is like, “See?! You don’t have it so bad, woman!”
Great article. I liked how you juxtaposed the two sides of the issue. Normally we only hear the female side. I hope that men in general will wake up soon. If only for the sake of the next generation of young men. Men must adapt to our rapidly changing world. We don't speak out against inequities that our fellow men suffer. The empathy gap for men is perpetrated by women AND men.
Well, it’s complicated. Lol.